by Tim Holler
My wife mentioned the other day that she really enjoyed the change in the weather. A simple enough comment. We’ve all made such statements. And she went on to describe how much she loves cool, perfect weather like fall and spring. It’s not too hot nor too cold, it’s just right. But then she went metacognitive on me. She said she’s selfish and spoiled to want life to be “just so”. She felt bad that she wanted everything to be pleasant if not perfect.
That’s a tempting conclusion to draw about our character. We easily conclude that if we desire a bluer sky, crisper colors, sweeter songs, deeper sleep, cookies that are always crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside, that we are somehow self-centered and broken.
But what if those desires are a reflection of God? What if, being made in His image, we can’t help but want something better, richer, fuller, deeper?
Rene Girard said, “All desire is a desire for being.”
C.S. Lewis is famously known for pointing out: “Our desires are not too strong, but too weak…(we are) like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
But why is it so tempting to draw this judgmental conclusion about ourselves? Why are we hard on ourselves?
I want to suggest that we have been taught that, because we were ‘born in sin’, that we are ‘fallen creatures’ and therefore we have only evil thoughts and intentions. There is nothing in us that desires anything that’s good.
Have you ever tried to be really still?
To sit, maybe outside on a clear day when the weather is warm and there are no distractions? If you did, you probably started to feel uncomfortable and think you could use some distraction like music or a game on your phone. But if you pushed through and sat with yourself, you found yourself lonely.
In that loneliness, a desire started to stir. That is a stirring of desire for being known. It is the greatest need of the human heart and it represents the greatest fulfillment of the human experience. Out of it comes all other joys.
What is more precious than when someone sees you and presents you with something that is distinctly you? A good friend of mine once gave me a sticker that said, “I came, I saw, I left early.” He knows me! The satisfaction of being known goes beyond any material wealth we can imagine.
So when you are tempted to judge yourself for wanting more, next time, stop and ask, “maybe I’m not desiring enough?”