The 12 Steps is a spiritual program of intentional, definitive, and action-oriented steps that offer addiction help to those suffering from addictive substances and behaviors in an attempt to recover a life that has been lost to this struggle.
First created in Alcoholics Anonymous, the 12 Steps have been and can be adapted to fit and help any addictive process, particularly the spiritual aspects. While many other processes exist, those that partake in the 12 Step program believe “it works if you work it” and have the history to back its success.
A serious issue remains with those who AA defines as, “constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves” and cannot recover. There comes a time when we all must face life and rigorously search for truth. This begins with a first step.
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless – that our lives had become unmanageable.
In Catch Me if You Can, Frank Abagnale hears a story from his father about two little mice who fell in a bucket of cream.
“The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.”
For many of us, this idea that hard work and elbow grease are the answer to all problems is greatly celebrated. It centers around the idea that self-will is the only thing separating us from the life we want. We center ourselves around the idea, “If I just try hard enough, everything will get better.”
There are many forms of addiction. It can be described as any substance, behavior, or process that helps a person to escape a reality that now has become uncontrollable.
Addiction is not simply drugs and alcohol, but also love, sex, food, gambling, games, work, codependency, deprivation, religion, rage, self-pity, feelings of anxiety, feelings of depression, shame, a person, etc.
The list goes on and on and continues to grow. We have found something, anything to rely on so that life is bearable. Those who have an addiction but refuse to get addiction help are struggling with a sense of denial:
“I got this. It’s not that big of a deal. I haven’t done something THAT bad yet.”
Many addictions only grow worse until they are surrendered to deep, intentional care. A common mechanism that fuels addictions' downward spiral is that life will always get more complicated by things beyond our control. Getting help with your addiction is essential, and that’s where Kardia Collective steps in. Our vision is to offer addiction help that reconnects you with your heart, with God, and with those you love most.
Today, you may have a job, a family, a partner, or children. Tomorrow, you may have grandkids, more friends, more money, or more responsibilities. As a human being, you will have more and more needs that one day will be lost to the injustice of death. Unless we choose to learn to face life on life’s terms instead of numbing our hearts, addiction remains a tempting choice.
The problem lies in the inability to live on life’s terms. Addicts, like me, have resorted to our addictions as a desperate attempt of controlling the uncontrollable feelings we have towards life.
It all becomes too much.
A dear mentor of mine commented on how it feels to come to terms with denial. He described it as seeing the “check engine” sign on the dashboard but continuing to drive. “Maybe it will go away, or maybe it’s lying to me.” The need for attention and care comes in many different ways. Like this car metaphor, you might feel afraid of what could happen if you continue driving. Maybe you paid so much attention to the sign, you crashed your car or the engine burst into flames.
One thing remains true: the light won’t turn off unless you check it. This is Step 1, the admission of powerlessness. My sponsor and spiritual guide through the 12 Steps pointed out to me that admission means allowing to enter or to confess. A critical component is inviting the truth to enter your life:
“I am an addict and I need help.”
Step 1 is about breaking the fantasy of the idea that somehow and sometime in the future, “this” will all get better, as it is. We believe accomplishing a task, buying a car, getting married, having kids, climbing the social ladder, or making more money will solve all our problems. Just as getting new wheels or getting new wipers will not take away the “check engine” sign, addiction must be confronted directly.
The first step is to admit the unmanageability of the addiction.
Many of us take laps around addiction. At every lap, déjà vu. Opportunities to admit the unmanageability of the problem. The players may be different and circumstances that changed. Yet, the story is the same – a moment of fear and reckoning with the potential consequences of addiction. With a great sense of ego, we return to the addicted life with promises unkept.
“I’ll try harder next time.”
In the end, we return, only to have lost more than before. Those who recognize the powerlessness of addiction have the opportunity to venture forth into a new life of recovery with the tools to face life on its terms.
The journey is long and the road is less traveled.
With courage, commitment, and rigorous honesty, I believe every person can recover and begin rediscovering a life full of freedom, strength, and hope. Kardia Collective is here to help. Schedule an individual counseling session to take control of your addiction today.