by Kate Mallory
We’ve heard it said over and over: these are unprecedented times. With unprecedented times comes uncertainty, and with uncertainty often comes anxiety. For many, our routines have drastically changed. The news inundates us with frightening messages often written in bold red “emergency” typescript. This triggers a feeling of alarm. With no outlet for this fight or flight response, anxiety quickly follows as we search for what we can control. This leaves us feeling stressed, scattered, confused, and on-edge. If you are experiencing something similar right now, you are not alone, and there are ways to manage this fear and anxiety.
First, we must address the fear and anxiety we feel. What does it feel like in your body? Where do you feel it? What thoughts accompany the feelings? Identifying these patterns will help us to regain control and move forward. It is important to remember that emotions are a part of being human. Much like the waves in the ocean, emotions crest at varying intervals and at varying swells. If we resist and fight against them, we often find ourselves thrashing about, losing awareness of which way is up. We become overwhelmed. If we learn to ride the waves, we learn to trust that just as they come, they too will pass. Riding the waves involves acknowledging our feelings and expressing them with someone we trust.
As humans, we were created to share in the community of others. This becomes difficult when “social distancing” slows the spread of infection but inhibits human connection. Recognizing the root of our fear and its patterns is helpful in increasing our awareness, but we need to be seen, validated, and accepted in order to find relief.
I have thought of Philippians 4:6-7 often over the past few weeks:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
In our culture, I believe that this passage is often simplified to mean that we shouldn’t feel anxious. Rather than a message of shame, I believe this passage reminds us that Jesus offers us a path to peace from the fear and anxiety. However, we must feel the fear in order to get there.
In processing my own fear and anxiety, I have come to appreciate this time of slowing down. It is an opportunity for me to try to exist solely in the present enjoying stillness, spending uninterrupted time with my child, and caring for myself. I am learning to take a breath (or several!) without rushing to the next item on the to-do list or schedule. Coping with this time will look different for everyone, but it is possible to delight in unexpected joys when we grieve what we wish were different and acknowledge the fear we feel.
Our therapists can help you learn to ride these uncertain waves and can provide the relationship necessary for finding relief from anxiety. We are currently offering virtually counseling options and would love to walk this path with you. We’re here to help.
Kardia is offering free virtual therapist-led support groups at this time to provide an outlet for people’s voices to be heard and healing to take place through the context of relationships. You are not alone in this. For more information on these support groups to come, visit kardiacollective.com