by Ron Surgeon
What is a fulfilling life? How would you know if you are experiencing it? A meaningful, purposeful, satisfying, and value aligning life is fulfillment.
Value alignment? Now that’s an important concept to highlight.
Value alignment happens when the important principles and standards of your life are in harmony with your experiences. Harmonizing a life looks like curating experiences that are friendly to your values. Values are who we are, not who we wish to be. When our values and lives are not aligned, we feel frustrated, sad, bored, blocked, and discontent, which are all byproducts of joylessness.
When we discuss values, it can be easy to conflate it with things we have or don’t have in our lives. As Victor Frankl said,
“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.”
Sometimes we can find ourselves derailed from attaining a meaningful and fulfilling life; derailed by what the eyes see or what the body wants. Often, we live on the surface, but we must go deeper and further. The impulse for pleasure can disguise itself as a longing for fulfillment. And there we are, baited like fishes and lures.
When we respond to an impulse under the guise of happiness, we can find ourselves hoping to quench the thirst for a satisfying life by purchasing a car, a house, new clothes, going on vacation, getting a date, etc. But then, after a month or so, the excitement begins to fade like the colors of a sunset or more like a song that has come to an end.
Once again, the hole in our hearts become obvious. Here is when we realize, hopefully, that we can’t escape from ourselves because “wherever you go, there you are.” Our joy, in its purest sense, is not discovered in the tangible. Your life does not solely consist of an abundance of possessions.
Possessions are nice to have, yet unfulfilling.
So, what is your vision for a fulfilling life? Think about it. Close your eyes and imagine what could be. What could it look like to experience fulfillment daily? Limiting beliefs create barricades to daily doses of fulfillment. Instead of the daily dosage, we find ourselves imagining fulfillment as a destination, a place out there somewhere on an island far away. It may be helpful to clarify your values, create a list of them, and begin to think through how your values do or do not coincide with your actual life. Ask yourself,
“What actions am I willing to take to make sure my values and life align?”
For example, if you value friendship, how are you cultivating old friendships or building new ones? If you value novelty, are you experimenting with new things? Reflect on times when your life values and experiences overlapped, how did it feel? Perhaps it felt meaningful, something akin to standing on the brink of accessing limitless possibilities for your life.
This response is something you have the ability to create, but only if you are willing to slow down, be attentive to your heart, give care to your life, and examine the benefits and hindrances of routine.
Many of us live our lives inattentively, hoping to show up one day to a future somewhat more satisfying than our present experience. As we attend to the preciousness of the moment before us, we are giving careful consideration to the future. There is a “you” out there in the future, a potential upgraded version of yourself. Each action and mindful choice you make in the “now” brings shape and definition to the “you” out there.
The infamous cartoon, The Simpsons, showed an episode of Homer evading responsibility so he could get drunk. Right before downing the jar of vodka and mayonnaise he says, “That’s a problem for future Homer. Man, I don’t envy that guy!” Unlike Homer, we won’t shirk our responsibilities. We will take courage to change the things we can.
We can grapple with the potential of the future and bring it closer to our ideal selves as we aim for congruence with our values, and thus, taste fulfillment.
Check out Ron’s interview with co-founder, Shad Berry, below!