by Ron Surgeon
Are you dressed for life? When we are not mindful of who we are, who we are becoming, and where we are going, we are showing up to life undressed.
Intentionally creating fulfillment is one of the ways we can dress for life. The only way to wrangle and domesticate fulfillment is to listen carefully to your life.
“Don’t put your purpose in one place and expect to see results somewhere else,” - Epictetus
Wrangle and domesticate fulfillment by listening carefully to your life. Slow down and focus. Don’t show up undressed.
Listen to what piques your interest. What sparks your joy? What inspires you? What makes you feel connected? Appreciated? Appreciative? What causes you to lose track of time? What gives you that natural high? What were the moments you wished would last forever? What intrigues you?
Listen to your life.
It is a dialogue between you and God, you and creation, you and others. As in all dialogues, we don’t always hear conversations as intended, but in retrospect we gain insight. So slow down, play detective, follow the clues and be as curious as a cat. Record the clues you find.
Fulfillment doesn’t have to be accidental, although we stumble on it from time to time. You can curate an environment that triggers meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. Normally, we only think of triggers in association with what has harmed or hindered. However, a person can place triggers in their environment enabling them to recall what is good, right, and true.
One of your triggers could be a simple Post-it Note that inspires patience for your life’s journey. For example it might say,
“No great thing is created suddenly”- Epictetus.
You could plant a potted flower near the kitchen sink reminding you that you can bring beauty to places where it doesn’t naturally grow. You can create a positive trigger. One of the beauties of being human is that we can assign meaning to people, things, and places. We can create positive triggers.
What is the easiest, simplest, and most potent step you can take toward your ideal future?
Just think of one step, not two, just one. Take that step. Resist the voice that says, “What if?’’ while carrying you down a seemingly logical path toward the worst-case scenario. The voice says, “I’m just being realistic.” And your voice should reply, “Liar!” The truth is the voice is afraid. It is afraid of hope and afraid of the best-case scenario. Many of us have accumulated hours and hours of practice with worst case scenario thinking. We are experts in it. So much so that the skill has become, as some would say, overdeveloped while best-case scenario thinking remains underdeveloped.
Best-case scenario thinking is not brainwashing ourselves into living in a world of illusion or a world without pain. Rather, sometimes we defeat ourselves before we even get started by powerfully imagining painful scenarios. We experience premature defeat by assuming a negative outcome. On the other hand, best-case scenario thinking is the practice of learning to live in the realm of positive possibility.
We’re experts in knowing what could go wrong and novices in knowing what could go right. What could go right?
Much of the worst-case scenario thinking is a reverberating echo from the past. It’s the saboteur creeping from the wounded past, seeking to challenge you every time you seek to challenge the status quo of your life. The past is the past, learn to acknowledge it, accept it, integrate it, and grow from it. Seek help as needed. Process it. Own your contribution to the problem, if any.
Going forward, what would you like to see changed? Identify an issue and an action to improve the issue, no matter how small. Small is good. Start there. Do the change! Perform the action and continue on with small steps in the direction of your goal.
Afterward, write down each action you took as evidence that you are becoming a different person, a growth-oriented person. A person who doesn’t show up to life undressed. A person who lives on purpose with positive possibility. A person who is realizing that fulfillment is not a destination, but a process.
If you want to explore this further, my coaching can help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be, deal with the saboteur’s voice, and live in the reality of what could go right.